Sometimes when I look back on things I can't help but see a struggle between doing what is right and doing what is wrong. It seems there is a struggle of Good and Evil. Not just doing the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing for me and sometimes being Good at being Evil.
I have always tried to do the right thing. I have sometimes become this reflection of the false identity people saw me for. I was no angel back in the day that's for sure. I am trying to do better now but still grapple with the the struggle of being the real me and being the dumb fat kid people can write me off for. It can be said that I have not always done my best at promoting otherwise. I was very good at being Evil.
The mind games we play with ourselves in order to justify our behaviors is maddening. I know that if I want to bad enough I can justify my bad behavior to anyone. The big question is why can't I sell the good side of myself with the same fervor?
There are times when I feel trapped by my past. Perhaps it was because they were happier more carefree times.
I feel I am right there on the cusp. Almost ready to walk upright again. Trying to get used to a new skin. A skin I would not have asked for. I am trying to make the best of what comes my way. It can be hard to remain optimistic.
I feel and hope that this is at times karma kicking my ass and then in the next moment I feel and hope this is all just practice for the better times ahead. Either way I know know I feel the real me evolving, mutating becoming the person I want to be. The person with good things ahead. I have seen and done Evil and been good at it. Time to put it to rest.
Miked
Copyright 2010 Dunbridge Truckstop Global Media
I have always tried to do the right thing. I have sometimes become this reflection of the false identity people saw me for. I was no angel back in the day that's for sure. I am trying to do better now but still grapple with the the struggle of being the real me and being the dumb fat kid people can write me off for. It can be said that I have not always done my best at promoting otherwise. I was very good at being Evil.
The mind games we play with ourselves in order to justify our behaviors is maddening. I know that if I want to bad enough I can justify my bad behavior to anyone. The big question is why can't I sell the good side of myself with the same fervor?
There are times when I feel trapped by my past. Perhaps it was because they were happier more carefree times.
I feel I am right there on the cusp. Almost ready to walk upright again. Trying to get used to a new skin. A skin I would not have asked for. I am trying to make the best of what comes my way. It can be hard to remain optimistic.
I feel and hope that this is at times karma kicking my ass and then in the next moment I feel and hope this is all just practice for the better times ahead. Either way I know know I feel the real me evolving, mutating becoming the person I want to be. The person with good things ahead. I have seen and done Evil and been good at it. Time to put it to rest.
Miked
Copyright 2010 Dunbridge Truckstop Global Media
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