I have always believed that there is a reason for everything and that I will always manage to get by. That all this clawing and scratching is somehow worth it. That I will be delivered from this purgatory back to middle America with a keener sense of self-worth and euphoric glaze in once again being able to contribute to the economy in a positive manner.
This week as been nothing short of a total test of my wits. I try not to get my hopes up and maintain an even keel and then I am at a second interview with my very fate hanging on the decision making skills of two highly trained and driven gentleman who only want the best for their organization. I can see the carrot. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see long term plans coming together. I try not to get excited because I have heard this all before, numerous times. I am sitting in their office selling myself without trying to sound to desperate. But the fact remains the lifestyle I am living has really started to wear on me this week.
I try to tell myself that all the hard work and the leg cramps from jumping through hoops this past couple of years is all going to be worth it. But lately I am questioning every decision's worth.
I have heard in times of struggle people put their faith to the test. I wonder what they seek out? I wonder how their god sends them a message? Although I do not consider myself materialist I used to get my message every week in the form of a paycheck. That envelope told me that everything was going to all right. I have never considered myself a very religious man. As of late I have been questioning that too. I want to know where exactly hope and Faith collide? Is one a function of the other? I am tired. I am tired of being poor. I am tired of the uncertainty.
Enjoy your day
The Miked
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