Faith N. Hope, You Can Be A Devious Whore

I have always believed that there is a reason for everything and that I will always manage to get by. That all this clawing and scratching is somehow worth it. That I will be delivered from this purgatory back to middle America with a keener sense of self-worth and euphoric glaze in once again being able to contribute to the economy in a positive manner.

This week as been nothing short of a total test of my wits. I try not to get my hopes up and maintain an even keel and then I am at a second interview with my very fate hanging on the decision making skills of two highly trained and driven gentleman who only want the best for their organization. I can see the carrot. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see long term plans coming together. I try not to get excited because I have heard this all before, numerous times. I am sitting in their office selling myself without trying to sound to desperate. But the fact remains the lifestyle I am living has really started to wear on me this week.

I try to tell myself that all the hard work and the leg cramps from jumping through hoops this past couple of years is all going to be worth it. But lately I am questioning every decision's worth.

I have heard in times of struggle people put their faith to the test. I wonder what they seek out? I wonder how their god sends them a message? Although I do not consider myself materialist I used to get my message every week in the form of a paycheck. That envelope told me that everything was going to all right. I have never considered myself a very religious man. As of late I have been questioning that too. I want to know where exactly hope and Faith collide? Is one a function of the other? I am tired. I am tired of being poor. I am tired of the uncertainty.


Enjoy your day

The Miked



Copyright 2010 Dunbridge Truckstop Global Media

How Could I Afford Not To? (that is of course, if I had the money)

Not knowing things were different.
Wishing things weren't the same.
Why did you have to call?
No other place to lay blame.
Reflexes in check.
Some would say it was meddling.
And it is if you don't concern yourself.
I hope that not where you're from.
There's always a price to pay.
There's always something in it for you.
With a sale like this.
How could I afford not to?

Miked


Copyright 2010 Dunbridge Truckstop Global Media

We Live To Survive Our Paradoxes, Part III

It should come to little or know surprise to some of you that I was a total party animal (pronounced social retard) in my early days.

I am a few years past that lifestyle and although I reflect back on that time with the same joy that watching "Animal House" brings, it is hard to shake the legend. Not that I am looking to forget my past. I am maybe looking to apologize and looking for a little glimpse of atonement.
Now here I am trying to live a better life and be a better person. Using my past as motivation of what not to do in life.

I really love tales of drunken escapades and have many, many of my own and they are sacred and I love them like my children. However, how do I explain to someone not to make the same mistakes I made without looking like a hypocrite because I am still in love with about 75% of the shit I did in my former life?

Another thing I have been wrestling with is the perceived double standard between men and women when it comes to casual sex. It is funny how the more women a man sleeps with makes him some sort of social hero yet if a woman sleeps around she is a low grade whore.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I have reconciled this by not believing the double standard. It is a higher standard. Women have a lot more at stake in this department. It is not the man who is gonna get pregnant and the worse case scenario for the man is that he is paying child support for the next eighteen years. Clearly the biggest part of the responsibility falls on the shoulders of the woman.

Miked

Copyright 2010 Dunbridge Truckstop Global Media