Chapter 2

When you are severely obese there are things you deny.  Secondary issues that you know are a direct result of your condition yet do not seem to really be an issue on their own.  Aches, pains, sore joints etc.  When my foot healed (no pun intended) I was going to have to be fitted for orthotics for my shoes.  Oh yeah nothing like having your new orthotics change your shoe size from fourteen to fifteen-four E.  The unicorn of shoe sizes.  There will be more on shoes later.  The foot thing is not over.

One of the first issues my doctor and I tackled was Sleep Apnea.  This was something that I was sure I had had for years but choose to deny the symptoms or issues related to this condition.  Surely my ego was in the way of any progress here.  My wife had been telling me all about my "weird breathing" and the lack there of in entirety for years.  It's true, often times I would "wake up" completely unrested.  I would fall asleep all the time, anywhere, anytime.  There were the other fun things no one likes to talk about.  Pissing the bed from time to time.  Seems when you are literally passing out multiple times an hour you literally lose any control of your bodily functions. I had all these things, yet didn't want to admit it.  

First thing ordered after a myriad of blood-work, sleep study.  I was devastated, sleep was the one thing I thought I could do just like anyone else.  Now that too was going to be fucked with.  

It came as absolutely NO surprise when the results of the sleep study came back.  I had severe Sleep Apnea, SEVERE!  I was averaging around sixty-eight disruptions an hour.  That's right, I'm aware that is more than one disruption a second.  So if you average zero minutes of sleep per hour, times six to eight hours a night, you average ZERO minutes of rest a night!

What did come as total shock was how incredible I felt after just waking up from the sleep study!  I have never done cocaine hopefully never will but I equated the burst of energy I had cursing through me with the similar experiences relayed by someone on coke.

On the list of world's greatest bullheaded people my late father's name is somewhere amongst the top ten.  Just below him is me.  The damage I probably did to myself and the utter denial and stupidity and complete lack of respect I had for the warning signs were all completely eclipsed by how great I felt coming off the night of the sleep study.  I could not believe it would take almost two weeks of paperwork and insurance horse shit to get my own machine.

Ego be damned, I was now masking up for bed and loving every second of it! 

Miked

Copyright 2019 Dunbridge Truckstop Global Media

How ya'll are?

07-05-2019

Very good morning,                         

For the last two years I have been fighting to not just recover from a broken foot but to come back even better.  This journey has been absolutely the hardest thing I have ever undertaken.  My condition has put undue stress on me, on my job, on my wife and on my marriage.  I have missed events, been present and absent at the same time and exhibited behavior I never thought I was capable of.

Eighteen months ago after trying to lose weight to no avail for 6-8 months and actually gaining a lot more weight in the process, I decided to take responsibility for my heath for the first time in my life.

I knew that what I needed was not a diet, it was not a surgery,  it was not going to be an quick fix, there was no magic pill, but I was not exactly prepared for what was coming my way.

At my heaviest I weighed 617lbs.

In March-April 2018 I decided I needed a new support team in addition to my awesome wife and wonder mutt.  I set out to try and find a nutritionist Dietician,  a therapist and a new primary care doctor that was proactive with my condition.

I, like most started with the Googler and started searching nutritionists Dieticians and therapists that dealt with obesity and eating disorders.  Little did I know that this was just the start of the frustration.  People that specialize in things like eating disorders and obesity are few and far between.  For the most part the people that did specialize were absolutely swamped.  Or, because of the world we live in didn't take my insurance.

After a 3-4 month search I finally was able to partially assemble my team.  I found a nutritionist Dietician, whom without question, has been nothing less than instrumental in teaching me how to eat.  That's correct teach me how to eat.  Sure I knew what I liked and how to shovel it in my proverbial tongue cave but in reality I knew nothing about food.  Plus I had always figured that vegetables caused death.  Through the work that I have done with her I have done a complete one-hundred and eighty degree turnaround with regards to my intake of nutritious and healthy foods. 

My second piece of the puzzle was the addition of a new primary care doctor.  In my case, a nurse practitioner, she too, is very proactive and worked with me to find some answers for me and my condition.

I did audition a couple of therapists and ended up putting my name on the waiting list for an woman that came highly recommended by multiple sources.  It was the end of August 2018 before I was able to schedule an appointment.  I am so glad I did.

So now the team is assembled and I will be bringing you up to date on the trials and tribulations that come from being extremely overweight.

Feel free to comment or ask questions.

Miked

Copyright 2019 Dunbridge Truckstop Global Media

I got sucked in and thought it mattered...

I have decided to take a little break from Facebook. It was wearing me out and ultimately keeping me from some of the things I really want to accomplish.  I got caught up in the minutia of needing to see the latest crash video or pictures of the latest firearms pics/news. However I believe I was pushed over the edge is all the political horse shit. Anyhow I took the app off my phone.  I can be reached at
B33fst3w@yahoo.com. I'm not saying I'll never be back on Facebook but for now I'm taking a break.

May we all continue to heal

These are my words not yours

Michael J  Drouard


2016 Dunbridge Truckstop World Service

Don't go turnin heals....

It has been a very trying week thus far.  Lots of thoughts about loved ones who've gone to soon.  My own good work has closed one chapter and opened another.  Acceptance and personal growth have become paramount for me and it is now more important than ever to buckle down and remind myself that the pain is ok and that there is still work to do.  Help is where you find it when you ask for it.  Opening yourself up to it can be the most daunting task.  Getting a handle of your life and taming some of your demons is by no means easy.  I encourage you all to explore and forgive yourselves continue to work on healing.

These are my words not yours.

Copyright 2014 Dunbridge Truckstop Global Media

FeeBee's Eulogy

                                                                  Died August 25, 2013

                                                                  Read October 05, 2013

Good Morning?

Good Morning.....

Buckle up and place your bets.

If your doctor has you watching your irony, this is good for about a month of your recommended daily allowance.

Ed, grandpa, Eddie, Dad, Tightwad, Horse's Ass and FeeBee was a man of many things, to many people and this is who he was to me. 

            Just this past weekend I attended a little weenie roast hosted annually by Paul Nawrocki at his island resort.  Admittedly it was strange and sad not having my father and FeeBee in attendance. 

            Sure we talked for a moment or two about how we missed them something fierce.  But soon the talk turned to things like "remember that time" and "I was there when that happened" and an amazing thing happened.  We were all smiling and then laughing.  I'll admit that some, if not all, of the stories that night are NOT church appropriate and I'll spare you those even if they are the good ones.

            But here are a few tidbits and words of wisdom I learned from FeeBee:

1. FeeBee never argued.  Sure, if I look back, there were many, many "discussions".  I could tell it was not an argument because no matter how I felt the "discussion" went.  I knew FeeBee was going to do whatever he damn well pleased anyhow.

2. There is always time for work and that time is now.

3. If dining out, there was never a doubt about who was picking up the check.

4. There is always time for work, and that time is now.

5. Good whiskey was never meant to be blended.

6. There is always time for work, and that time is now.

7. Most US dollars are worth $.35 coming in, and $20,000 going out. Better save a bunch of them!

8. There is always time for work, and that time is now!

9. Service to country and community, was paramount.  Again with the work!!!

10. There is always time for work, and that time is now!

11. A deep faith in God and a love for your church can get you through anything.

12. There is always time for work, and that time is now.

13. WAR IS HELL.

            It's true we are not blood relatives, but whenever someone asks me about my grandparents it is Ed and Delores that I think about. 

            Due to circumstances beyond my control at the time, I never really had a proper relationship with my true grandparents that were alive in my lifetime.  FeeBee more than made up for that. 

            It wasn't all work with FeeBee,  and truly these are the times I will cherish the most.  It could have been fishing at the trout club or just sitting around enjoying a good "bump" and telling stories after and ONLY after the completion of the days' project.  I loved hearing about his childhood and him lamenting about his time in the service, his job and growing up during the depression.

            FeeBee was indeed a lot of things to a lot of people.  And I was very fortunate to spend a considerable amount of time with him.  It is also true that early on I was just a punk kid who didn't realize at the time what an impact and what a special role FeeBee would play in my life.  It is not like he donated and kidney or anything, but his influence, wisdom and the way he lived his life are all things that I think about as I move forward in my own life.

            I will never forget this man or his influence on me.  My only hope is that he is up there in heaven with a shit eating grin, enjoying the afterlife.

May God Bless You All!

These are my words not yours

Michael J Drouard

It's been a while..

Good evening,

There has been much on the proverbial plate that the proverbial Truckstop since last I wrote.  Although there is still much turmoil and tedium surrounding the death of my father and the settling of his affairs there is also cause for optimism. 

Hope is not lost when you are constantly trying to move forward.  A woman has come into my life and although it is still in the preliminary ass sniffing stages we are getting along famouly. 

I have also been giving back to the comm

Here is a preview...